We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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