Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
