Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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