Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
