sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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