She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
