What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
