It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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