You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
