Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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