I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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