Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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