She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
