My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
