I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
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It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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