So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
