All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
