the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You're a waste of cheezeits
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
