where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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