At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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