Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
