I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
