rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
