$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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