Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
True strength comes from lack of pants
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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