he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
