No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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