is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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