wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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