Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
