I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
