Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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