I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
