I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
