Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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