i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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