Nicole vs. Life
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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