Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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