someone threw a dead crab at me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
