Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
