how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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