the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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