i was rollin on her like bob the builder
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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