I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
