So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
