She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
