sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize