just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
