3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
