I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
