the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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