I CAN MOONWALK!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
