omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
