atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize