He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
