This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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