is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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