Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That's intense
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
