She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We left an ass print on the piano.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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