The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
