tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
