Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
