I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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