We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
