Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
