I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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